Note: As the title says, this is a satire. It was written to make a point. If you don't like it, I'm not forcing you to read it. I ask that you do read it, however, as you might find it interesting, and you might learn something. I thoroughly enjoyed writing it, and I hope you enjoy reading it.
The human race is under attack. We are being threatened by a group of people bent on world domination. These people are everywhere; in our schools, at our work places, even in our army. Who are these people that are out to destroy us? The answer is simple: Gay people. And it's not just gay people. Gays and gay rights activists are in cahoots; they're working together to bring about the end of our species.
Many gay rights activists claim that being gay isn't a choice, but that people are "born that way". This is a lie. Of course it's a choice! Gays, Lesbians, and Bisexuals are willingly choosing a lifestyle where they are constantly bullied, teased, and told they'll be damned for all eternity, simply to outrage society. It's a desperate cry for attention, not just from teenagers, but from adults as well, even the elderly! That's why nine gay teenagers took their own lives in September of 2010: They wanted the attention.[1]
The push for the legalization of gay marriage is another example of the cry for attention. Why else would gays and gay rights activists push so hard for the legalization of gay marriage when they already have an institution that is practically the same: the "Civil Union". Sure, since there are no national standards accompanying"civil unions" or "domestic partnerships", there is the possibility that, while a same-sex couple in Vermont can have health benefits and life insurance to provide for their partner, a same-sex couple in Oregon would have no benefits available, should one of them get sick or die.[2,3] There is a very simple solution to this: don't get sick. Or you could just move to Vermont.
This cry for attention, these rallies and parades, are all part of an underlying plot to turn everyone else in the world gay, and, therefore, cause humans to go extinct. By convincing everyone that being gay is acceptable, and then turning everyone gay, gays would cause human reproductive rates to decline until we were no longer producing any offspring. After that happens, it's just a matter of time until everyone dies, and the human race is no more.
We must prevent this terrible outcome by continuing to ostracize and reject these masochistic attention seekers, and drive them to suicide, so that there are no more gays, lesbians, or bisexuals left to threaten our race. Push them into lockers, deny them the right to life insurance to provide for their partner, condemn them, damn them, so that they won't tempt others, and destroy everything man has worked for. It's not discrimination. It's self preservation!
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http://www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbetterproject
http://www.thetrevorproject.org/
1. http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/septembers-anti-gay-bullying-suicides-there-were-a-lot-more-than-5/discrimination/2010/10/01/13297
2. http://www.leg.state.vt.us/docs/2010/bills/Passed/S-115.pdf "Marriage is the legally recognized union of one man and one woman two
people. When used in this chapter or in any other statute, the word “marriage”
shall mean a civil marriage. Terms relating to the marital relationship or
familial relationships shall be construed consistently with this section for all
purposes throughout the law, whether in the context of statute, administrative
or court rule, policy, common law, or any other source of civil law."
3. http://www.leg.state.or.us/orcons/orcons.html "Section 5a. Policy regarding marriage. It is the policy of Oregon, and its political subdivisions, that only a marriage between one man and one woman shall be valid or legally recognized as a marriage. [Created through initiative petition filed March 2, 2004, and adopted by the people Nov. 2, 2004]"
